Hi! I’m Calli, And I Am Your Friend!

While playing at the park yesterday, Calli found a couple of girls to play with. They were a little bit older, but they quickly worked her in to their play. Their mother and I gave each other the non-committal, slightly weary hello nod customary of adults.

This park has a smaller playground for younger kids, and a larger one for big kids. As the trio of girls crossed from one playground to the other, Calli stopped in front of her playmates’ mother and said, ‘Hi! My name is Calli, and I am your friend!’

The mother smiled warmly and patted Calli on the head. Calli chased after the girls, and they played and giggled together.

As we drove home, I thought about how wonderful that one statement was. ‘Hi! I’m Calli, and I am your friend!’ What is that like? No reason to ask ‘Will you be my friend?’ No confusion about whether the receiving party concurs with this friendship. This was simply a statement of fact. How wonderful that must be to have that much confidence! It was as if she said, ‘I really don’t care how you feel about it. I am your friend.’

How would our lives be better if we went through life like that? It’s an issue I’ve struggled with all my life. I never want to appear conceited or ‘full of myself’, and I’m not that confident to begin with.

Yet you are currently reading ‘The greatest Daddy Blog. Ever.’ and no one has contested that. In fact, as I read through other Daddy Blogs, I see many similar statements. ‘I have the best wife in the world!’ ‘I have the best kids!’ ‘Best family!’

You know what? They’re all absolutely right.

What if we all had that much confidence all the time? Confidence to help someone in need. Confidence to make decisions. Confidence to do something about our current situations?

I bet the world would be a much better place.

21 Days. No Complaints. No Excuses.

image found at gracewalk.wordpress.com

A good blog is like a good book. Sometimes you want to go back and revisit posts that meant something to you. One such post by Tim Ferriss has been rattling around in my head A LOT lately. This post was called Real Mind Control: The 21 Day No-Complaint Experiment. In the post, Tim told us of Will Bowen, a Kansas City minister who decided to try an experiment. He would wear a purple bracelet to remind him not to complain for 21 days. If he did complain, he would switch his bracelet to the other wrist and start over at day 1. This is because scientists say that it takes 21 days to form a habit. If you don’t complain for 21 days straight, you’ve just formed a habit of not complaining!

There is now a great website started by Will Bowen called acomplaintfreeworld.org. There, you can order the purple bracelet, Will Bowen’s book and DVD, and even download a widget for your computer that will count the days for you. If you complain, you have to click ‘Start Over’.

Why would you want to do this?

I don’t know why you would want to do this, but I’ll tell you why I am going to do this, and why it took me this long to realize I should.

Reason #1

I’ve related in earlier posts how I may not be as happy with some aspects of my life as I could be. Sure, I have a wonderful family and my health, but I want more for my family and for myself. I find it too easy, however, to complain, or better yet, make excuses for why things don’t go as planned. That is why the title of this post includes ‘No Excuses’. More on that in a bit…

Reason #2

Complaining gets everyone down. Working in the retail industry, I can’t tell you how many times someone has commented on how they couldn’t do my job if they had to deal with the irate customers. I used to think the same way. What I do is think about what I would like to hear if I was upset. How does that fit in to what I can actually do?

So the no complaining piece is this: of course you identify the problems, but instead of seeing them as problems, make them in to opportunities to grow and improve the situation. Instead of just writing a situation off as something to complain about, isn’t there something you can do to improve or even remedy the situation? And if not, why sweat it? It’s out of your hands! Yelling at the Republican or Democrat on the television screen is just raising your blood pressure. The politician still sleeps at night, and won’t change his/her tune for you!

Why did it take me so long to decide to do this?

The answer is remarkably simple: Complaining is easy. There’s a certain release to cursing something that doesn’t go right. It releases you from the hassle of actually doing something about it. If you can blame something else, you’re not the responsible party, right? WRONG! If you don’t learn from those mistakes or incidents, you’ll just have more and more to complain about later on…

My dad always says that when you point a finger at someone (or something) three fingers are pointing back at you. This is why No Excuses is part of my 21 day experiment. If I’m not happy with something in my life, instead of making excuses (“It’s the economy!” “It’s the weather!” “I’m just following orders!”), I’ll find solutions and a way to take advantage of the opportunities.

I would like to invite you all to join me in this experiment. You don’t have to buy the bracelet, just throw a rubber band on your wrist, or download the widget like I did. The point is to stop complaining. And stop making excuses!

I will, of course, be blogging my progress, and in the name of honest blogging, will blog my failures as well.

If you are joining me in this experiment, please, let me know below. I will also start a discussion on my Facebook fan page, so you can chart your progress there as well!

Good luck!